Friday, March 23, 2012

How To Make People Go Away

Here are six typical people that might be complicating your life. Below will be a possible way of making them go away.

Tyrannical Boss - He is complicating your life by insisting you're on call 24/7. Simplify your life by clocking out at 5. Don't forget to give a cheerful "See you tomorrow!" in his direction. Sometimes you need to manage your boss' expectations. Leave the office at the same time every day and limit weekend work. Don't worry about being fired: If you were doing a bad job, you wouldn't have so much to do.

The Chatty Coworker - They are complicating your life by becoming a permanent fixture at your office door, stifling your ability to IM your friends. Simplify your life by boring them to death. Don't engage them. Don't look at them or say anything that might lengthen the conversation. Eventually they will stop coming by.

The Nagging Mother in Law - She complicates your life by giving you unsolicited advice and hideous ties. Simplify your life by befriending the enemy. Most people spend time with their mother in law as part of the couple. It's important to develop your own relationship with her. At the very least, you'll beging to understand her motivations. Maybe she'll become less of such an annoying bitch.

The Pushy Salesman - He complicates your life by trailing you around the store. Simplify your life by wearing gym shorts. In a California State University study, salespeople approached shoppers dressed in work clothes more quickly than those dressed more casually.

The Tragic Friend - He/She complicates your life by complaining incessantly about their pathetic existence. Simplify your life by telling a joke, preferably dirty. It'll stop them long enough for you to change the subject. With luck, eventually you will de-program him/her. If that doesn't work, tell him straight up: "Stop your incessant bitching or I'm going to block you. I have my own problems."

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